October 25

Today is ‘Wowwd Wetawded Day.’ Pwease wead the fowwowing statements with a wisp and be suwe to fowwow each and evewy one of them.

-Pwonounce r’s and l’s as w’s to save breath
-Act as gae as you can

The fowwowing shaww be made iwwegaw:

a. being poow.
b. being cwosew than 9 feet, the cwoss of Jesus shouwd fit between you.

i. Considered as sexuaw hawassment and wiww be punished with castwation/femawe ciwcumcision
c. Be tawwer than 6’ foot
d. Suicide

i. Punishabwe by death by offendew’s choice of execution
e. The wetter L, unwess in officiaw usage ow in refewwing secwetawies.
f. Wistening to KPOP.
g. Women caught bweathing wiww be chawged with the cwime of THOT.

i. Wheweupon the punishment shaww be traditionaw stoning.

ii. Pewpetwators may appeaw for jaiw sentences as wong as they agwee to wisten to the gworious song of the big Despacito.
h. Fwocinaucinihiwwipiwification wiww be wendewed iwwegaw on this day because it has an excessive amount of L’s.

Administwation:

-The Big Chungus shaww be appointed Pwime Ministew fow a day.
-Miwk tea addiction is now a nationwide crisis.
-Aww citizens must now howd up a big fat middwe fingew when they disagwee to something.

Person1: Today is ‘Wowwd Wetawded Day.’

Person2: Indeed. It is October 25- ow should I say Octobew 25.

by shitweasel October 26, 2019