2 definitions by oldbay
A (usually male) individual who lifts weights and/or uses steroids (juice) to attain a grotesque, reddened, mesomorphic physical state, which they accentuate by wearing tiny tank-tops and grim, constipated expressions.
The natural habitat of the Beef Monster is a gym, where they can be seen powerlifting and basking in each other's sweaty auras while consuming protein shakes.
Beef Monsters are also sometimes seen walking on seaside boardwalks or strolling down beaches, displaying their vein-y, leathery exteriors. However, Beef Monsters rarely enter in the water, as their overdeveloped musculature renders them poor swimmers.
A Beef Monster is a more extreme version of a beefcake, the difference being that while a beefcake can be found attractive by straight women (and gay men) who prefer muscle-y males, Beef Monsters have long since passed the point of reasonable buffness and are now demonstrably horrifying in their over-muscled appearance.
Beef Monsters are objects of disgust to everyone except other Beef Monsters, with whom they share a mutual non-sexual attraction due to their reciprocal monstrosity.
Beef Monsters should not be confused with competitive bodybuilders who, while unattractive/disturbing to many, have substantially less bodyfat, and a much less social attitude towards exercise, due to the rigors of competition.
The natural habitat of the Beef Monster is a gym, where they can be seen powerlifting and basking in each other's sweaty auras while consuming protein shakes.
Beef Monsters are also sometimes seen walking on seaside boardwalks or strolling down beaches, displaying their vein-y, leathery exteriors. However, Beef Monsters rarely enter in the water, as their overdeveloped musculature renders them poor swimmers.
A Beef Monster is a more extreme version of a beefcake, the difference being that while a beefcake can be found attractive by straight women (and gay men) who prefer muscle-y males, Beef Monsters have long since passed the point of reasonable buffness and are now demonstrably horrifying in their over-muscled appearance.
Beef Monsters are objects of disgust to everyone except other Beef Monsters, with whom they share a mutual non-sexual attraction due to their reciprocal monstrosity.
Beef Monsters should not be confused with competitive bodybuilders who, while unattractive/disturbing to many, have substantially less bodyfat, and a much less social attitude towards exercise, due to the rigors of competition.
"The weight area at my gym is full of Beef Monsters!"
"You never see just one Beef Monster, they seem to travel in twos or threes."
Girl A: "...and this guy was really cut?"
Girl B: "No, he was way beyond "cut." He was all red and inflated, really abnormal. A total Beef Monster."
Girl A: "I am disgusted."
"You never see just one Beef Monster, they seem to travel in twos or threes."
Girl A: "...and this guy was really cut?"
Girl B: "No, he was way beyond "cut." He was all red and inflated, really abnormal. A total Beef Monster."
Girl A: "I am disgusted."
by oldbay March 13, 2009
people who wear vineyard vines, polo, lilly pulitzer, monograms, bow ties, hunter rainboots, j crew, ll bean, and sperrys. we go to private school that costs more then your whole family makes in a year. only live in maryland, new york (long island), Massachusetts, maine, and Connecticut. play lacrosse and field hockey. spend their weekend at the families farm riding horses or at the families lake house. we do not wear ambercrombie at all or pop our colors. boys wear sport coats with pastel color shirts a pair of croakies, and boat shoes. girls wear lilly dresses or j crew shorts with an oxford shirt on rainy days we wear a north face and a tall pair of hunters. we can be found driving our parents range rover, land rover, mercedes, lexus, or g wagon. do not call us stupid or uneducated because need i remind you we go to the best schools in the world and will eventually become doctors, lawyers, and business owners. we commit to play lacrosse at a top d1 school very early on. people are quick to judge but we are not that mean.
by oldbay October 15, 2014