1 definition by nonnymouse
Darwins theory believes that man evolved from primates evolved from fish etc etc. However a recent discovery means that there is now evidence that man 'devolves' on occasion, thus the 'chav'. 'Chavs' (council housed and violent) are a top competitor for the lowest form of life on the planet. From a distance they look like the average human being but there are five major diffrences.
1.intelligence, on average chavs have an IQ of around 30 this means that they are as smart as the average gorilla. They have 'adapted' to change the entire english language and often do not even use words that they cant pronounce or dont understand. This means that "excuse me could you tell me where the nearest boutique is please". Becomes "nah where da fooks maccy d's too like?".
2.Skin. As you know the human being is usually either black or white... Chavs are orange.
3.Pack hunters. Despite the fact that they think they are 'hard' this rule only applies when what they are fighting is
A) smaller than them.
B) not carrying a weapon.
C) the chavs have weapons.
D) the person/animal is not likely to fight back.
If you do encouter a chav on it's own it is not likely to start on you without provoction, if it does all you have to do is pull a knife out, they will generally back away or failing that, laugh at them they will not be able to stand the humiliation.
4.breeding. One of britains main problems is that chavs breed like rat's and start at a very early age, by the age of 17 the chavette will have at least four children of many diffrent creeds and colours, sadly they usually abandon the chavling at the age of 5days to fend for it's self and it starves to death. (note: i know it's sad... but the poor little sod's probably better off anyway) all of the services needed for the child are ALLWAYS provided for by the taxpayer. this also aplies to chav transport see: chavmobile
5.mouthy. Chavs live under the false impression that we all want to be like them, if you are not a chav then in the eyes of one you are either a) a nerd. or b) a emo. however we all know this is not true.
1.intelligence, on average chavs have an IQ of around 30 this means that they are as smart as the average gorilla. They have 'adapted' to change the entire english language and often do not even use words that they cant pronounce or dont understand. This means that "excuse me could you tell me where the nearest boutique is please". Becomes "nah where da fooks maccy d's too like?".
2.Skin. As you know the human being is usually either black or white... Chavs are orange.
3.Pack hunters. Despite the fact that they think they are 'hard' this rule only applies when what they are fighting is
A) smaller than them.
B) not carrying a weapon.
C) the chavs have weapons.
D) the person/animal is not likely to fight back.
If you do encouter a chav on it's own it is not likely to start on you without provoction, if it does all you have to do is pull a knife out, they will generally back away or failing that, laugh at them they will not be able to stand the humiliation.
4.breeding. One of britains main problems is that chavs breed like rat's and start at a very early age, by the age of 17 the chavette will have at least four children of many diffrent creeds and colours, sadly they usually abandon the chavling at the age of 5days to fend for it's self and it starves to death. (note: i know it's sad... but the poor little sod's probably better off anyway) all of the services needed for the child are ALLWAYS provided for by the taxpayer. this also aplies to chav transport see: chavmobile
5.mouthy. Chavs live under the false impression that we all want to be like them, if you are not a chav then in the eyes of one you are either a) a nerd. or b) a emo. however we all know this is not true.
t=The chav abolishment act of 2009 means that chavs are not allowed out between the hours of 00:00-23:59. If they are spotted they can be shot on sight.
by nonnymouse January 8, 2008