The Harpoons

That which must be manned.

Used in jest when an overweight and obnoxious girl enters the room and you want her removed. Alludes to whaling harpoons.

Or, simply, a joke to crack when a large woman is observed.

*an obese, obnoxious woman enters room*

Charlie: Oh my god, that is horrid! We're gonna die!!!

Dane: She'll eat us alive, for sure! AAHH!!

Keith: Nonsense! The harpoons, Charlie! Man them at once!

*battle ensues*