james ventura's definitions

aka internetitis

inflammation caused through excesssive use of the internet. symptoms include dry, swollen eyes, retinal burning (images of web pages persist in vision even when eyes are closed). Disconnection from reality. Dreams of web searching. Cure= get outside with people, shop (brick & mortar style), sports, clubs, etc.

after playing 19 hours of online tetris you get up to microwave hot pockets in the kitchen & your brain continues to analyze and redistribute shapes and images such as floor tiles, cabinetry, or inanimate objects that may or may not even be there. Aka internetitis. "itis" indicates swelling such as tendonitis (swelling that occurs in thumbs, wrist, and elbows from excessive joystick handling. Encephalitis is brain swelling from too much info. see Elephantitis, Vaginitis, Retinitis, Appendicitis, otitis, tinnitis

by james ventura September 17, 2006