noun: instrument used to administer a paddling
to your misbehaving bitch
woman when she does not treat her man propery. Generally wood, plastic or leather. A proper paddle should be long enough to reach across both buttocks
, and be wide and heavy enough to be clearly heard in the next room even with the door closed.
verb: Process of administering a paddling
to a wench who has gotten away with far too much for far too long. The paddling
should occur on bare buttocks
to have greatest effect and should not stop until said buttocks
are quite red (NOT pink!) and hot all over. When the woman starts begging you to stop figure you are about 1/3 done. If the woman does not try to rub the sting away when you are done you have failed to paddle correctly.
Man, I heard your brother-in-law really paddle his wife last night in the guest room. What a wonderful idea, maybe I can borrow his paddle for tonight. You have not been behaving like a proper wife at all!
Woman, due to your inability to keep on budget we are going to adopt a new household rule. You are going to work out each dollar overspent at the business end of a paddle, at a rate of 10 swats per dollar.