n. An abnormally long piece of human excrement, characterized by the tail end going down into the bottom of the bowl, and the head end breaking the surface of the water. A poop is only classified as such when it is in one continuous, unbroken piece. In many cases, the person responsible for the freak-poop is astounded by how much poop came out of them.
Pooper: "Holy Crap, dude, come check this out. I just crapped a Loch Ness Monster!"
Friend: "Oh my gosh, what the hell did you eat?"