christmas

Christian holiday moved to conflict with the time of year when everyone everywhere (and everywhen) celebrates the winter solstice (point of Earth's orbit where, in the northern temperate zones, the sun's zenith slows its southern decent and begins moving north again = another year to live).

2. Hodgepodge of ancient and not-so-ancient rituals, including sacrificing a tree to Mother Nature, celebrating the miracle that got Nicholas his sainthood (reassembling murdered and hacked up child parts in a barrel back into children), and, oh, the birth of Jesus, a jew, and the guy that made 12 of his buddies drink his blood and eat his flesh, before he got executed and came back from the dead. (Can you say "zombie"?)

3. Day that Santa brings new socks and undies. If your bad, you get coal (to keep from freezing) and an orange (for vitamin C to prevent scurvy).
by danw December 22, 2003
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