1 definition by chloeswife
Chloe is the kind of wife you want. She is a dick, possibly the ultimate dick. Chloe will make you fall off chairs laughing, and if not, she'll kick you off. Chloe is thoughtful/intelligent, like for example she may pretend to be pregnant on the tube to get a seat offered to her when hungover. Chloe does not waste a penny so she pays in copper coins at self-service machines in supermarkets- afterall it would be stupid to throw copper coins in the bin. Chloe is a fair person and can therefore find reasons to dislike most people. If she leaves out a more specific reason for you, don't worry, one of her sweeping generalisations will cover it. Chloe is a saint, she is The Giver, and even has one up on mother teresa with her pity sex. Chloe will protect you at all times, like when she goes home before you with all of your friends to ensure your house is clear of intruders while you are walking home alone in the dark drunk at 3am. Chloe is very generous- she'll shout you dinner when she wins the lottery, over a certain amount. Chloe is very sweet before she punches you in the face, but given how easy it is to infuriate Chloe with backpacks, slow movement, stupidity, most accents, religion and niceness, you probably deserved it and should've known better. Chloe is very informative and knowledgable so she'll certainly let you know if this is the case. You wouldn't say Chloe is a cunt, but she is. She's a sickcunt and she doesn't even know!
Stranger on tube; "Would you like my seat miss?"
Chloe; "Yes, thank you, you're very kind. My back was getting sore from supporting this slightly fictional bundle of joy I'm yet to bring into the world!"
by-stander on tube; "Christ, really smells like stale rum on the tube today!"
Chloe; "Yes, thank you, you're very kind. My back was getting sore from supporting this slightly fictional bundle of joy I'm yet to bring into the world!"
by-stander on tube; "Christ, really smells like stale rum on the tube today!"
by chloeswife October 10, 2012