1 definition by american drivers are retarded
Possibly the main cause of my death.
These drivers are usually women under 5 feet who drive expensive luxury SUVs, such as the Cadillac Escalade, Infiniti QX56, Mercedes GL, Toyota LandCruiser, etc.
They are possibly the WORST DRIVERS on the road today. They have a lack of skill in driving as most likely they are;
Texting
Figuring out how to change the radio station
Shutting up their spoiled brats
Putting make-up on as they may have got plastic surgery
Yelling at other drivers that the SUV bitch thinks are terrible drivers while the SUV is the real bad driver
Sorting out lawsuits because their kid got beaten up for showing off his Blackberry
Nobody knows why they buy SUVs, primarily because "It's safer than a normal car", when they are more likely to roll-over. Other reasons include the size, style and off-road capability (most of these luxury SUVs have AWD and not a real 4WD system).
Gas prices and the economy doesn't seem to hurt them also, for unknown reasons.
These drivers are usually women under 5 feet who drive expensive luxury SUVs, such as the Cadillac Escalade, Infiniti QX56, Mercedes GL, Toyota LandCruiser, etc.
They are possibly the WORST DRIVERS on the road today. They have a lack of skill in driving as most likely they are;
Texting
Figuring out how to change the radio station
Shutting up their spoiled brats
Putting make-up on as they may have got plastic surgery
Yelling at other drivers that the SUV bitch thinks are terrible drivers while the SUV is the real bad driver
Sorting out lawsuits because their kid got beaten up for showing off his Blackberry
Nobody knows why they buy SUVs, primarily because "It's safer than a normal car", when they are more likely to roll-over. Other reasons include the size, style and off-road capability (most of these luxury SUVs have AWD and not a real 4WD system).
Gas prices and the economy doesn't seem to hurt them also, for unknown reasons.
Scenario: Me and a friend are stopping at a stop-light in a normal car. The SUV bitch is texting her complaining son to wait a few minutes as she's almost at the school.
Me: God damnit, another red light!
Friend: Oh well... Hey is that mom texting?
Me: You're joking right?
Friend: No and she's about to....
(Me and my friend get rear ended)
Me: OH SHIT! ARE YOU OKAY?
(Friend is dead :( )
(I run out to the SUV bitch's SUV)
Me: WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?
SUV bitch: I'm so sorry I hit the gas instead of the brakes.
Me: YEAH RIGHT! YOU'RE FUCKING TEXTING ON YOUR PHONE FOR NO GOOD REASON AND NOW MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD! THANKS A LOT WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARDEN!
SUV bitch: Well, you shouldn't have been driving that small little crapbox, and I was telling my son I'm almost there!
Me: I'M ALMOST HERE MY ASS! GOOD LUCK AS I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR RECKLESS DRIVING!
SUV bitch: Well, I have good lawyers!
Me: Yeah right!
Me: God damnit, another red light!
Friend: Oh well... Hey is that mom texting?
Me: You're joking right?
Friend: No and she's about to....
(Me and my friend get rear ended)
Me: OH SHIT! ARE YOU OKAY?
(Friend is dead :( )
(I run out to the SUV bitch's SUV)
Me: WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?
SUV bitch: I'm so sorry I hit the gas instead of the brakes.
Me: YEAH RIGHT! YOU'RE FUCKING TEXTING ON YOUR PHONE FOR NO GOOD REASON AND NOW MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD! THANKS A LOT WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARDEN!
SUV bitch: Well, you shouldn't have been driving that small little crapbox, and I was telling my son I'm almost there!
Me: I'M ALMOST HERE MY ASS! GOOD LUCK AS I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR RECKLESS DRIVING!
SUV bitch: Well, I have good lawyers!
Me: Yeah right!
by american drivers are retarded April 17, 2010