A mythical entity allegedly created to assist users of Adobe products, but primarily functions as a high-speed Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V machine. Conversations follow a predictable arc: you provide detailed information, they ignore it, then respond with either a request for the same info or irrelevant steps clearly lifted from an ancient support scroll. It's not help — it’s performance art in email form.
Me: "Hi, I’m using Magento 2.4.7-p4 and the checkout crashes on submit."
Adobe Support: "Thanks for confirming. Can you please take a full backup, reset your expectations, and wait 48 hours for a reply that ignores your message entirely?"
Adobe Support: "Thanks for confirming. Can you please take a full backup, reset your expectations, and wait 48 hours for a reply that ignores your message entirely?"
by a-mustache May 08, 2025