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Your Friend, Hanson's definitions

Collum

Something that has the characteristic of or pertains to all things evil and hideous. Usually referring to a teacher that hates all of humanity, and wishes everlasting despair to all.
Jerry: "Dude, I just got out of <insert satanist teacher here>'s class, and <he/she>'s a total collum!"
Fabio: "How so?"
Jerry: "While we were taking a test, <he/she> started speaking in tongues again... the lights were flickering and everything. Actually... I think I shat myself."

-OR-

Phillip: "I swear my yorkiepoo is a collum."
Vladimir: "Why do you say this, comrade?"
Phillip: Well, every so often it'll go into the basement-
Vladimir: What is this so called 'base-mend' of which you speak?"
Phillip: "Shut up. It'll go into my basement and scratch freaky symbols in the floor, and then it starts talking, like a person, except deeper."
Vladimir: "In Mother Russia all dogs act like this. Is it uncommon in America?"
by Your Friend, Hanson April 16, 2009
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