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Fucked nine ways to Sunday

An expression used when an action or situation has not only fucked or will fuck you in multiple ways, but will leave you fucked for a long time afterwards.
I just got fired from my job and I'm late on the mortgage, am making payments on a car whose transmission is slipping, have maxed out credit cards I'm never gonna pay off, multiple accounts in collections and I still owe Bob a new grill when I ran it over drunk driving last weekend. I'm fucked nine ways to Sunday.

Cop: Sir, I need you to pop the trunk.
Guy: Got a search warrant?
Cop: Right here.
Guy: I'm fucked nine ways to Sunday...

John: Dude, Brock Lesnar's at the door waiting for you. Says he's real pissed about you slapping him in the back of the head then running off at the bar last night.
Bob: Oh shit, THAT'S who that was?
John: ...Dude, you're fucked nine ways to Sunday.
by Yeret February 8, 2015
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Mechanic

The first person that you want as a friend, the last person that you want as an enemy.
Joe: My Trans Am's pretty sweet but I really don't know diddly squat about cars. I need to befriend a good mechanic so I can keep her running sweet.

Jon: I punched a dude at the bar last Friday. Little did I know that he would be the mechanic that would be doing my brake job last Monday. Now I'm laid up in the hospital with a fractured skull and my car's somewhere between a crusher and a foundry.
by Yeret March 12, 2017
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