Definitions by Weiner Tits

Shoe-horning

After a night of heavy, HEAVY drinking, a girl wants to have sexual congress with you. However, your pink crayon isn't up to the task. You're determined, however, and decide to cram Ol' Floppy inside of her. You're determined to get it up, but it ain't happening. You keep flaccidly stabbing away with zero results. She goes home deeply disappointed.

"I tried shoe-horning my 'flaccie' inside of her last night, but no go."

Shoe-horning by Weiner Tits January 1, 2014