Vancuck1000's definitions

Van Cuck

A man who voluntarily lives in a van and travels cross-country to support his wildly successful girlfriend (athlete, influencer etc), only to spend his nights parked outside arenas, hotels, or training centers while she’s inside getting absolutely railed by someone with an actual bed. He survives on gas station snacks, secondhand glory, and blind devotion, convincing himself he’s part of the journey instead of the punchline.

James "Last night I drove all the way to Italy to support my girlfriend at the winter Olympics!"
Harry "You mean you went all that way to watch her get fucked by hot male athletes from the carpark"
James "uhh"
Harry "You're such a van cuck"

by Vancuck1000 February 14, 2026