The scariest individual to ever walk the earth. Native to Southern California's upper class neighborhoods. Characterized by a blank stare and Nike dunk shoes, he prowls the internet in search of trendy fashions and accessories. Other characteristics include:
1. Magazines such as Sole Collector, Crago, or Black Book strewn about his work desk.
2. Excessive use of the Terms
"Merk", "Pipe", or "Beat"
3. Requests for Porn DVD's containing "Big, Sweaty, Slathery, Flithy chicks with big asses"
Guy 1: Ivan's been actin wierd...That fools becomin Doonie Darko.
Guy 2: That dude's a Freak!