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Definitions by Tim Bolton

self monkey 

To produce a Self Monkey first take the shavings from your shaver in one hand

Manually spank the monkey and shoot your load so it lands on your chin

Slap the shavings on your chin, thus producing soft and downy designer stubble

See Monkey Face
I had such a good wank last night I shot my jizz so far it landed on my chin, I went over to the sink to clean it off but all the trimmings from my shaver spilled out and I ended up with a self monkey to be proud of
self monkey by Tim Bolton November 10, 2007