1 definition by TheGirlfromUB

Union Beach is comprised of the remains of what little dignity Keyport had, washed up on a dirty, needle-ridden shore. It is a smelly town, named after its "beach," that is, instead, a patch of second-hand sand and an arrangement of fake dolphins. Pre-Hurricane Sandy Union Beach (PHSUB) was a dump, and Post-Hurricane Sandy Union Beach (also PHSUB) continues to be a dump. Children grown here are misshapen and unintelligent. They go on to lead unsuccessful lives and swim in the filthy, green water that stunts their growth on a daily basis.
Person 1: "There's a party in Union Beach tonight. Would you like to go?"
Person 2: "Union Beach? I always regret going there. But, hey, a party is a party... and at least it isn't Keansburg!"
by TheGirlfromUB January 23, 2013
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