The Private I's definitions
The famous arch nemesis of Jared Beam private I (The I stands for investigator).
Commonly identified by his incredibly large hooked nose and New Jersey accent. Is a very bad guy and will rob you of your valuables. Possibly Jewish? Carries a duckfoot menorah gun. Also carries an umbrella, even when it does not rain. He also may own a pharmacy.
He has fought the famous Jared Beam Private I on many occasions, but has mostly lost.
Commonly identified by his incredibly large hooked nose and New Jersey accent. Is a very bad guy and will rob you of your valuables. Possibly Jewish? Carries a duckfoot menorah gun. Also carries an umbrella, even when it does not rain. He also may own a pharmacy.
He has fought the famous Jared Beam Private I on many occasions, but has mostly lost.
Notable quotes from Alden Glaz:
Jarred Beam! (In New Jersey voice)
I'll get you next time Beam!
You ruined my evil plans!
Have you ever tried hummus?
Oh boy!
OH NO JARRED BEAM!
Jarred Beam! (In New Jersey voice)
I'll get you next time Beam!
You ruined my evil plans!
Have you ever tried hummus?
Oh boy!
OH NO JARRED BEAM!
by The Private I May 9, 2022
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