Definitions by Systematic Cupid

turkish lumberyard 

The act of crapping on one's self whilst inverted in the Nicaraguan picnic position.

The shit cascaded down Rick's balls as it piled up on his chest like a Turkish lumberyard

turkish lumberyard by Systematic Cupid March 18, 2014

nicaraguan picnic 

A rare yet rewarding ability to commit self fellatio. Most commonly an inverted, "cock-bound" position is used to enjoy the Nicaraguan picnic.

Mike was unable to go to work on Monday as he dislocated his back attempting a Nicaraguan picnic.

nicaraguan picnic by Systematic Cupid March 18, 2014