StressedDesserts's definitions
A neologism blending shareholder and HODL (crypto slang for “hold”), used satirically to describe an extractive investor or corporate executive who:
- Clings to equity and short-term profits regardless of a company’s long-term sustainability.
- Pushes extractive practices such as buybacks, dividends, or aggressive cost-cutting that benefit shareholders at the expense of workers, customers, or society.
- Embodies the dogmatic logic of financial capitalism, prioritizing shareholder enrichment while ignoring stakeholder well-being.
- Clings to equity and short-term profits regardless of a company’s long-term sustainability.
- Pushes extractive practices such as buybacks, dividends, or aggressive cost-cutting that benefit shareholders at the expense of workers, customers, or society.
- Embodies the dogmatic logic of financial capitalism, prioritizing shareholder enrichment while ignoring stakeholder well-being.
“The boardroom was packed with sharehodlers demanding another stock buyback while the company’s workers hadn’t seen a raise in years.”
by StressedDesserts August 27, 2025
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