One who sits on the couch all Sunday long watching his fantasy football stat tracker while ocassionally glancing up to actually watch the NFL games. He is doing nothing but drinking beer, eating snacks and getting fatter. His or her (see sports spy for "her") gear includes wireless internet, laptop, beer, big screen TV and sometimes friends. Friends are optional because they will cut into your stat tracker watching.
Closet Fat tracker: Hey man, lets go to the bar and watch the game.
Fat tracker: Do they have WIFI?
Closet Fat tracker: What's WIFI? (he knows what WIFI is and that this particular bar does not have it)
Fat Tracker: Nah, lets watch the game here.
Closet Fat tracker: That's lame...there are no chics here.
Fat tracker: Uhh...Ummm...the A/C repair guy is scheduled to repair my...Uhh..A/C between the hours of 12:00 pm and 10:30 pm..so I need to be here.
Closet Fat tracker: Sounds Good!
A female who pretends to like watching and talking about sports in order to impress others.
Joe: What time are we getting together for the game?
Bob: Can't today, Molly's favorite team is on and she doesn't miss a game.
Joe: What the hell are you talking about?
Bob: It's kind of a thing we do...we watch this game together.
Joe: Are you serious?
Bob: Yep...she would be pissed if I watched the game without her.
Joe: Your married to a Sports Spy...Go kill yourself...your out!