Definitions by SlightlyGruntled
Arthuritis
A painful condition resulting from the inflammation and stiffness of joints, specifically caused by attempting to yank an ancient, enchanted broadsword out of a solid granite anvil because a legendary wizard told you it would make you King of England.
Primary Symptoms: Throbbing elbows, swollen knuckles, back spasms from poor lifting form, and an intense, recurring ache every time it rains or when Merlin offers unsolicited career advice.
Treatment: Rest, ice, anti-inflammatory ointments, and delegating all future sword-pulling duties to younger, less medievally fragile squires.
Primary Symptoms: Throbbing elbows, swollen knuckles, back spasms from poor lifting form, and an intense, recurring ache every time it rains or when Merlin offers unsolicited career advice.
Treatment: Rest, ice, anti-inflammatory ointments, and delegating all future sword-pulling duties to younger, less medievally fragile squires.
'What's wrong, my King? Arthuritis again?'
'Oh, my back is killing me today. Merlin is going on about some crusade or something, yammering about how it's my "Destiny" or some such thing. Do me a favor, if he shows up, tell him I'm out with Guinevere.'
'Oh, my back is killing me today. Merlin is going on about some crusade or something, yammering about how it's my "Destiny" or some such thing. Do me a favor, if he shows up, tell him I'm out with Guinevere.'
Arthuritis by SlightlyGruntled October 6, 2026
