Skip to main content

Definitions by Shirty the Slightly Aggressive Bear

The Colbert Report 

A "fake news" television program airing on Comedy Central from Monday to Thursday at 11:30pm eastern time. Hosted by Stephen Colbert, the Report satirizes conservative, ego-centric media pundits such as Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera.

Pronounced "Col-BEAR Re-PORE".
"Open up baby bird, 'cause mama's got a big fat nightcrawler of truth! This is the Colbert Report!"

Tek Jansen 

The Gary-Stu protagonist of Stephen Colbert's (fictional) self-published sci-fi novel, "Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure".

The "novel" is a dig at right-wing pundit Bill O'Reilly's fiction novel "Those Who Trespass" and at the tendency of television personalities in general to shamelessly promote their products on their own networks.
"Oh, Tek Jansen! You have obviously had hundreds of girlfriends!"