1 definition by Rudolph Schmidt
A formerly great city that is now nothing but a haven for liberals, illegal immigrants, gangs, corrupt politicians and the whiniest residents of any big city in the US. Chicago used to be a tough, blue-collar, gritty, hard-working city, but now it is nothing but a city of sissies and whiners. White people in Chicago try to act tough but the reality is that white neighborhoods in Chicago are comparable to the lamest suburbs. The minority neighborhoods are gang and violence ridden and beyond hope, but all the white Chicago brats pretend they used to live in one of those neighborhoods or know it well. Chicagoans still love those old Saturday Night Live skits about "Da Bulls" and "Da Bears," but there really is no such thing as a Chicago accent anymore unless someone is trying to be cute and forces one out of their mouth. Also, Chicagoans love to talk about "Chicago winters," but most Chicagoans hate the winter and stink at driving in the snow. Honestly, when it snows in Chicago you'd think all the drivers were from Hawaii, that is how poorly Chicagoans drive in the snow. Liberal Democrats have wrecked Chicago but nobody will admit it. Nobody can afford to live there anymore due to the outrageous taxes to pay for all the city's corruption. The only deep-dish pizza you'll ever really see is at a handful of restaurants or on the Travel Channel. Most pizza places in Chicago are run-of-the-mill or local chains comparable to Dominos or Papa John's. Chicagoans think they are tough and conservative, but this is a city that banned goose liver in restaurants, considered starting a safe school for gay kids, banned all smoking in bars, and won't let the residents own a gun. All Chicago residents know that Chicago is basically a Midwest version of San Francisco but they'll never admit it. Yes, it used to be a great city, but it won't be ever again.
by Rudolph Schmidt March 7, 2009