Vicarious beard growth is the attempt of helping your own beard grow by staring at pictures of people with awesome beards. It should be noted that this is a myth. It does not work. This has been researched and proven by expert and awesome beard owner David Denison, who is well credited and a pioneer in his field, despite being a Michigander.
Example 1:
Guy 1: Your beard's looking a little patchy, man.
Guy 2: I know! I've been trying to fill it out, but the vicarious beard growth just doesn't seem to be working!
Example 2:
Guy 1: Man, I've been trying for a month, but my beard still won't grow!
Guy 2: Have you tried vicarious beard growth?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, putting up pictures of awesome beards to inspire your own.
Guy 1: *pauses* Are you high?
Guy 1: Your beard's looking a little patchy, man.
Guy 2: I know! I've been trying to fill it out, but the vicarious beard growth just doesn't seem to be working!
Example 2:
Guy 1: Man, I've been trying for a month, but my beard still won't grow!
Guy 2: Have you tried vicarious beard growth?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: You know, putting up pictures of awesome beards to inspire your own.
Guy 1: *pauses* Are you high?
by Rodman Edward Serling August 14, 2011
Used to show that a supposed method of beard growth is a scam and actually won't help you grow a beard at all. The phrase is parodied off the "the cake is a lie" meme.
Salesman: Excuse me, but I couldn't help notice that pitiful excuse for facial hair that's attached itself to your jaw. Might I interest you in trying some Miracle Beard Grow? It's only $29.99 a jar.
Guy: *rubs face insecurely* Uh...well...
Good Samaritan passing by: The beard is a lie.
Guy: No thanks. *walks away*
Guy: *rubs face insecurely* Uh...well...
Good Samaritan passing by: The beard is a lie.
Guy: No thanks. *walks away*
by Rodman Edward Serling August 14, 2011