Robaürt Du Maÿnnne's definitions

Dong Giovanni

1. The pornographic version (yet to be staged) of Mozart’s two-act opera, Don Giovanni, the cautionary tale of unmitigated lust without repentance.

2. A hung Italian, like Rocco Siffreddi.

(Not hanged - see Benito Mussolini)

3. A complete and utter dipshit.

1. “Dahhling, shall we attend the Met tonight? Luciano Pornvarotti is singing the title role in Dong Giovanni.”

2. Yo, Frankee I wuz drainin’ my jimmy dean ovah in the pishadoo when James Gandolfini stands next me an sez HOW YOO DOOIN whipps his SUASSIDGE out an pisht like a guoddamm racehuose. Guy’s a regluh Dong Giovanni.

3. Carthage McFartface should be in prison for ten life sentences for being such a Dong Giovanni.

by Robaürt Du Maÿnnne September 24, 2025

Parole Bazooka

The rather graphic, violent act of destroying a loved-one’s orifice of choice, upon receiving the good news that he or she (or they, if you are so inclined) have been granted clemency, an early pardon, etc., and with all the pent-up seKsual tension and rage that inevitably accumulated during the incarceration period (because of course they were wrongly convicted of diddling that baby whilst polishing Dr. Frankfurter on multiple occasions — caught on several different Ring cameras). Must be achieved with an actual bazooka. Or a penis.

Diahanna: “WELCOMMME HOMMME HUNNNNNEYY!!!”

Carthage McFartface: “TURN THE lights OFF BIIISHH AN TURN AROUND IMMABOUDA GIVE YOU THE WHOLE PAROLE BAZOOKA AAAAGHH AAAAHH OOOHH AAAGH AAAAAAGGGHH!!!”

by Robaürt Du Maÿnnne September 15, 2025