10 definitions by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker
When you walk past a dispenser of alcohol sanitizing agent, you squirt a nice amount into your hand and then slap it across your mark's face, yelling, "Dirtless-Sanchez!"
They can't be too pissed off, after all, you just cleaned their lips for them.
They can't be too pissed off, after all, you just cleaned their lips for them.
Goofy, spitting nails: "That fuck'in Mickey-- he done got me agin!"
Donald: "What did that goddamn rat do this time?"
Goofy: Well, when I was just walking into the Disney store, Mickey filled his hand with sanitizing gel and slapped it across my face! Then he yelled, 'Dirtless-Sanchez!'"
Donald: "I know! It burned my fucking beak for a full day!"
Donald: "What did that goddamn rat do this time?"
Goofy: Well, when I was just walking into the Disney store, Mickey filled his hand with sanitizing gel and slapped it across my face! Then he yelled, 'Dirtless-Sanchez!'"
Donald: "I know! It burned my fucking beak for a full day!"
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker March 13, 2021
A Navy buddy of mine, Don Armstrong (RIP buddy) had terrible hemorrhoids-- they would bleed and make perfect doll-sized kiss marks inside his underwear.
Don's Wife: "Don! You sick fuck! Did you pay a midget to wear lipstick and kiss your goddamn underwear?"
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker August 3, 2018
When you let out a long, silent fart in a crowded elevator. You wait until the elevator door closes and then say, "Hey, does anyone smell popcorn?" You smile as you hear everyone in the elevator inhale through their nostrils in unison.
Goofy: "Hey, Mick-- Garsh, what's so funny?"
Mickey: "Huh, huh! I was riding in an elevator full of people and served up some hot, Elevator Popcorn!"
Mickey: "Huh, huh! I was riding in an elevator full of people and served up some hot, Elevator Popcorn!"
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker November 19, 2018