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Definitions by Professor Poops

hamberger uppercut

When a women's vagina looks like someone gave six pounds of raw hamberger an uppercut.
She may look hot but she totally has a hamberger uppercut.

jewish gas mask 

When a man pulls his scrotum over a ladies face and places his butthole directly over the nose. Said man than proceedes to fart mercilessly. The spreading of the ball sack makes a perfect "mask" over the womans face and forces her to deeply inhale any anal flatulence.
Nothing says loving a woman like a good ol' Jewish Gas Mask.