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Definitions by Petard the Retard

Alien Hand Syndrome 

To be unable to control ones arm or arms. This can also be present when regarding the entire body (see Alien Body Syndrome).
Ross: Dashton, why did you nock over that expensive drum kit?

Dashton: Sorry, alien hand syndrome.

Alien Body Syndrome 

to be unable to control ones body. This can also be present when regarding the arm or arms (see Alien Hand Syndrome).
Ross: Dashton, why did you just nock over all those music stands, chairs, and musical instruments?

Dashton: Sorry, alien body syndrome.

Professor Dickweed 

A retarded ass hole that thinks he knows everything about everything.
John: God damn it, I can't deal with Sam in history, he's such a professor dickweed.

Allen: I know, what a douche.