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Not Your Local Drug Dealer's definitions

Turtlehead poking out

When you really need to poop and are in the car, opening your front door, etc. and you feel as if the turd is beginning to force its way out. This may actually be happening or just a sign that it will if you don't get to the toilet fast enough.
"Mom, please hurry up!"
"I'm at the speed limit, Fred! What could be so important that you would risk casualties?"
"Please, I've got a turtlehead poking out, Mom!"
"Urgh, Fred..."
by Not Your Local Drug Dealer August 15, 2021
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Fart Dominance

When you fart louder than someone else or simply have the power and unspoken confidence to let one rip, loudly and proudly. Therefore, establishing dominance above all else in the room, who are too embarrassed to embrace the holy cloud of stank.
Guy 1: Dude, yesterday I did the hugest fart and established fart dominance over my cousins while they were over.
Guy 2: WTF
by Not Your Local Drug Dealer January 16, 2022
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Girlfriend

Something you will never have.
"Father, I have gotten my girlfriend pregnant. What should I do? She wants to keep it."
"Son, it's time I teach you about condoms. I never taught you, seeing as I believed your face would be enough protection."
by Not Your Local Drug Dealer October 1, 2020
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