Eurgen

Eurgen is a real doofus, is not necessarily mean but doesn’t try to be nice. Eurgen is ignorant, makes no eye contact, always seems to have his tongue floating between his lips, and spits all over your face when he talks. Seedy looking, ugly af, sketchy, slack-jawed, and NEVER has a look of concentrating or concern. Never seems to focus or fixate on any physical objects in front of him. Grimaces all the time. His gullible behavior makes him seem senseless and quite rude. Older people look at him as extremely insulting even when he isn’t doing anything particularly wrong. People at school see him as wise and a loner. Classmates see his wisdom in his heroic ability to stall teachers during school and for his innate ability, is respected among most of his peers, even if they hate him. Oddly enough, he seems to completely beat the odds and get himself into multiple relationships because of his status of being a ‘bad boy’. Those girls misinterpret the news around him from his ability to stall classrooms as a conscious action to stand out and be cool. In this way Eurgen is a red flag poster for guys who want to know which girls are dumb enough to fall for him. He’s usually Swedish or Irish and is usually from a family of drunkard fishermen.

Teacher: Be quiet!

Eurgen: yayayeheeheehee! Beee qwuieehhttt! *slumps down into seat and stares at ceiling *

Teacher: *shakes head, resumes teaching*

Eurgen: *whispers* rub my belly, give me a jelly belly.

Teacher: What did you say! Stand up and go to the office , RIGHT NOW! Get up! Take your stuff with you you’re not coming back! *face red with exhaustion*

Students: *laughing stops*

by Niftyquartz May 28, 2018