1 definition by NarcissismKills
In short, a terrible place. Should be avoided at all costs.
If you ever end up moving to Upstate New York, you will never be able to escape it.
The towns are all small, boring and cold and the cities are nothing to write home about either.
However something about Upstate New York, particularly EXTREME Upstate New York will pull you back in should you ever try to leave for a prolonged period of time.
My parents, like many other unfortunate people who grew up in Upstate New York, actually left and CAME BACK.
Upstate New York will forever be in the shadow of The City, and should you move there you will be invalidated as a person entirely.
If you ever happen to travel, and you tell someone you are from New York you will be forced to endure horrid responses like "OMGZ IZ IT NICE IN DA CITY?" or "D00D I WAz iN NYC LaSt WeEk, itz dA BoMb!!123" even if you try to take preventitive measures such as saying "New York STATE," "UPSTATE New York," or even "RURAL NEW YORK YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
Believe it or not, there are actually places even farther north than Buffalo or Albany.
I personally live within walking distance of the Canadian border.
I would rather just hop across and join the Canadians than deal with another day of being seen as a hideous appendage to The City.
My dream is to get the fuck out as soon as I can, move to another state and NEVER TELL ANYONE WHERE I'M ORIGINALLY FROM.
Unfortunately that will be nearly impossible because SUPRISE, on top of being boring, cold, and ignored, Extreme Upstate New York is also DIRT POOR.
This forces its unfortunate inhabitants to attend crappy local colleges and then later either work at Clinton Correctional Facilities or live IN Clinton Correctional Facilities.
This is partly due to the inevitable drug and alcohol problems these people develop to cope with the pain of living in America's own little third-world country.
If you ever end up moving to Upstate New York, you will never be able to escape it.
The towns are all small, boring and cold and the cities are nothing to write home about either.
However something about Upstate New York, particularly EXTREME Upstate New York will pull you back in should you ever try to leave for a prolonged period of time.
My parents, like many other unfortunate people who grew up in Upstate New York, actually left and CAME BACK.
Upstate New York will forever be in the shadow of The City, and should you move there you will be invalidated as a person entirely.
If you ever happen to travel, and you tell someone you are from New York you will be forced to endure horrid responses like "OMGZ IZ IT NICE IN DA CITY?" or "D00D I WAz iN NYC LaSt WeEk, itz dA BoMb!!123" even if you try to take preventitive measures such as saying "New York STATE," "UPSTATE New York," or even "RURAL NEW YORK YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
Believe it or not, there are actually places even farther north than Buffalo or Albany.
I personally live within walking distance of the Canadian border.
I would rather just hop across and join the Canadians than deal with another day of being seen as a hideous appendage to The City.
My dream is to get the fuck out as soon as I can, move to another state and NEVER TELL ANYONE WHERE I'M ORIGINALLY FROM.
Unfortunately that will be nearly impossible because SUPRISE, on top of being boring, cold, and ignored, Extreme Upstate New York is also DIRT POOR.
This forces its unfortunate inhabitants to attend crappy local colleges and then later either work at Clinton Correctional Facilities or live IN Clinton Correctional Facilities.
This is partly due to the inevitable drug and alcohol problems these people develop to cope with the pain of living in America's own little third-world country.
Example One:
Poor, unfortunate soul: I grew up in Upstate New York, and saved up all my money from the time I was a kid so someday I could get the fuck out. Unfortunately after leaving and entering the rest of the world I devoloped a slew of mental illnesses because I was never properly trained to live in society. I moved back Upstate.
Example Two:
Kid: Woah, mom, your dashboard says it's -20 degrees outside.
Mom: Yes dear, that's because we're driving through Upstate New York. When we get into Canada, it'll still be this cold, but at least I'll be able to smoke in public.
Example Three:
STUPID Girl on plane: So where are you from?
UNFORTUNATE Guy on plane: UPSTATE RURAL New York STATE.
STUPID Girl on plane: Wow, that's so cool. Can you see the Statue of Liberty from your apartment, or is the Empire State Building blocking your view?
Example Four:
Man: I was going to get out of this place as soon as I could, but things didn't work out, I had to stay in the area for college. Now I work at Clinton Correctional Facilities.
Woman from Anywhere but Upstate, USA: OMG did you meet Tupac?!?
Example Five:
Girl on internet: I live in Massena.
Boy on internet in NYC: Is that like near Ethiopia?
Poor, unfortunate soul: I grew up in Upstate New York, and saved up all my money from the time I was a kid so someday I could get the fuck out. Unfortunately after leaving and entering the rest of the world I devoloped a slew of mental illnesses because I was never properly trained to live in society. I moved back Upstate.
Example Two:
Kid: Woah, mom, your dashboard says it's -20 degrees outside.
Mom: Yes dear, that's because we're driving through Upstate New York. When we get into Canada, it'll still be this cold, but at least I'll be able to smoke in public.
Example Three:
STUPID Girl on plane: So where are you from?
UNFORTUNATE Guy on plane: UPSTATE RURAL New York STATE.
STUPID Girl on plane: Wow, that's so cool. Can you see the Statue of Liberty from your apartment, or is the Empire State Building blocking your view?
Example Four:
Man: I was going to get out of this place as soon as I could, but things didn't work out, I had to stay in the area for college. Now I work at Clinton Correctional Facilities.
Woman from Anywhere but Upstate, USA: OMG did you meet Tupac?!?
Example Five:
Girl on internet: I live in Massena.
Boy on internet in NYC: Is that like near Ethiopia?
by NarcissismKills July 30, 2009