1 definition by Mikey Wheels
Any vehicle made by a Japanese company. Contrary to the common myth, God does NOT personally make them and send them down in little wicker baskets to their proud new owners. They are sometimes assembled in America, sometimes in Japan, but the money always goes to the Japanese company that makes them, so they are foreign vehicles, by definition. (See also: "United Auto Worker" and "Starvation in America") Japanese cars are always cheap and junky, although sometimes they are wrapped in expensive plastic or leather, to give the impression of quality. "Giving the impression..." is what Japanese cars do best (see also: "Pearl Harbor Sneak Attack") because they usually do this for 3 or 4 years, and then they disappear, never to be seen or heard from again. You can usually see the process of Japanese cars returning to the earth beginning on 4-5 year-old examples, usually manifesting as rust holes around the rear wheels. There is much mythology surrounding "older" Japanese cars, but, like the Loch Ness Monster, no one ever actually sees an "older" Japanese car. Compare this to 15-30 year old American cars, which can be seen on a daily basis. (As a curiosity, some people have pointed out that American cars can not attain 100,000 miles or more. This is true, all older American cars have 5-digit odometers, therefore they can not ever hit 100,000 miles, and so they automatically self-destruct at 99,999 miles.) When General Motors and Ford go out of business, Japanese cars will suddenly triple in price, and the American government will contract with Japan for all war vehicles in the future. Of course, Japan is a peaceful nation (see: "Bataan Death March", "Kamikaze", "Comfort Women", "Japanese War Crimes") so with their leadership, there will likely never be another war in the world.
by Mikey Wheels November 10, 2006