Knob Conkers

Yorkshire-based trial of strength used for settling unresolved arguments, based on traditional Conkers game but with knob. Knob Conkers.
Combatants stand toe-to-toe with penis in hand.
Combatants take turns each to strike the penis of their combatant with as much force as possible. Last man standing wins.
A refusal results in automatic loss of argument.
An erection results in automatic expulsion from Yorkshire.

Carl: "..... I'm telling you, my wife's tits are far better than your Julie's plastic ones".
Wayne: "Bloody are not!"
Carl: "only 1 way to sort this out for good...I challenge you to Knob Conkers!"

by Lucas's Dad November 22, 2013

The Barbarians are at the gates.

A term used to convey the very urgent need for a toilet.

Similar to moles nose and touching cloth.

....it has been great talking to you but I really gotta go. The Barbarians are at the gates.

by Lucas's Dad November 22, 2013