Keyser is a shithole town in West Virginia that has absolutely nothing to do. Keyser is mostly populated by extremely arrogant senior citizens that complain, overuse the bathrooms, and drive entirely too slow on the roads.
Guy 1: Dude, have you been to Keyser lately?
Guy 2: Nah man, that place sucks...nothin to do but old
ladies. I don't play that game, man.