Noun
A wedding where the bride, groom, and most of their immediate family have all had a collective glow-up thanks to Ozempic. Everyone’s snatched, cheekbones are sharp enough to slice cake (if there were any), and the only thing thinner than the guest list is the menu. Instead of a buffet, expect a single crudité platter and one shrimp doing laps around a martini glass. No one eats, no one blinks, but damn, the photos are fire.
A wedding where the bride, groom, and most of their immediate family have all had a collective glow-up thanks to Ozempic. Everyone’s snatched, cheekbones are sharp enough to slice cake (if there were any), and the only thing thinner than the guest list is the menu. Instead of a buffet, expect a single crudité platter and one shrimp doing laps around a martini glass. No one eats, no one blinks, but damn, the photos are fire.
Ava: “Was Emily’s wedding fun?”
Jordan: “Total Ozempic Wedding. Everyone looked hot, but I left starving and pretty sure the cake was imaginary.”
Jordan: “Total Ozempic Wedding. Everyone looked hot, but I left starving and pretty sure the cake was imaginary.”
by Hungryguest March 30, 2025