Goddamnit James's definitions

Spank the monkey

An American state sport, in other words, jacking off. Numerous other ways of saying this include Beating the meat, playing the devil’s fiddle (for you Christian white guys).

Viktor: Dude, you gotta come see this photo of Mia Khalifa!
James: Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go spank the monkey...

by Goddamnit James February 7, 2018

Kansas Tornader

A sexual position where the male spins the female around on a bed and licks their clitoris. After that the make inserts into the female's ass and spins around until climax.

Jace: I just gave my girlfriend a Kansas Tornader
William: try not to have an assbaby

by Goddamnit James June 1, 2018