4 definition by God-Emperor

Top Definition
"...used in close combat."

As opposed to the English, who preferred to throw their swords pommel-first at the enemy.
The God-Emperor is so just dicking around with the last definer of the word 'scimitar.' Deal.
by God-Emperor April 20, 2008

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A horrendous pain that's like getting hit in the testicles... save for the fact that it lasts for hours. Ladies... imagine, if you will, getting your breasts slammed between a pair of rocks. I hear the pain women get when their breasts are manhandled is similarly agonizing.

Not a myth, but the people (crazy women) who believe that won't believe otherwise no matter what I say. I'd point you to science, but like I said... people that adamant about something usually plug their ears and shout about nothing (see intelligent design and pay note more to the reasons why it shouldn't be taught in schools, and the rationale for how those arguments are ignored).

And sure, guys can whack it to relieve it... but let's face it, that is kind of demeaning. Say I piled a bunch of bricks, wood, nails, paint, siding, and shingles in front of you and said "well, my work's done here; you can finish building the house!" Not an applicable analogy in every way and not as explicit a one as would be more appropriate, but if you don't take it too far, you get the idea.

Evil people who give this condition to men on purpose with malicious intent don't deserve the sexual attention that leads to such unfulfilled desires. People who don't know that it happens or have a moral obligation not to carry a male to full orgasm are a little more excusable, but keep in mind the pain you're causing. Maybe it'd be better if you either went all the way or just didn't take your man to such heights of desire; it's a mutual thing and you've got control too.

In any case, it should be clear in any relationship how far both partners are willing to go so that this kind of cruel bullshit doesn't occur, eh? Not that I will change many people but as long as UD can act as a personal blog like it does for so many of you I'll go ahead and use it.

Jezebel is a good person (ref: definition later in this page). I hope her mission succeeds.
*Jack and Jill are making out... it's been a while since the nursery rhyme and his head is fine*

Jill: I've got to go, my parents will get angry if I'm out past eleven.

Jack: *thinks "ah fuck, blue balls"* Do you have to go yet? *puppy dog eyes*

Jill: Yeah... I'm so sorry... here... *gives Jack a quick piece of 'hand'iwork that relieves him of his pain*

Jack: Oh, man, thank you so much, Jill, I needed that.

Jill: Call me! *leaves*

You get the idea.
by God-Emperor April 18, 2008

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Just because a rectangle claims to be a square doesn't make it true.

That is all.
Goth: I'm so nonconformist!

Me: *edges away*
by God-Emperor April 20, 2008

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What the hell, no love for Twisted Metal? You fucks.

Character in Twisted Metal who takes the form of a man attached to a machine made of a cage or similar contraption for his body and two large wheels. His usual motive for entering Calypso's competition is to avenge the death of his wife.
Axel: I will avenge my wife!
by God-Emperor April 18, 2008

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