Palak, AKA John Palak, AKA, Johnathan Palak, AKA Candymaster, Picek, etc. Specimen shows an extreme taste for candy at all times, spends money like he can get it for free (he can). Very good driver, almost as good as Daniel J Fox (uiuc one, not the 'failed experiment'), oh wait not really, no one is as good, or close to being as good, as dan Fox UIUC, at anything, in any way possible. Palak's father is a Brit, which would explain his exceptional driving skills and comedic tendencies. For more on Palak, search for any of the following: candy, Mr. Bean, Thumb Movies, candy, Daily Show, British, British candy, Bat Thumb, has a job that essentially pays him $200 per hour of actual work, and picek (often mistakenly referred to as such by the chosen one).
Palak is a really good driver and one time he took a really slow and not wide turn from willow springs onto ogden and caused $800 worth of damage to his car, but it didn't matter because he gets money from his job for doing nothing, and i think his parents paid for it anyway.