Definitions by Folumbe
Choate
An institution to house the mentally deficient. Overrun with children whose parents no longer want to have to put up with them. Synonymous with “hell-hole”. Even though considered a preparatory school, it is looked down upon by the more prestigious schools. Choate may be well-known around the world, but only because so many people go there, i.e. the 26% acceptance rate. Choate’s successes are not counted in their alumni or academic honors, but in the number of hot dogs consumed on average daily in the dining hall. There is a general lack of personal hygiene, both for the students, and their environment. Regardless of the socio-economic standard discipline is lacking, and the majority of alumni, well, you can’t really call them alumni, they never left the school. Choate has now gone from a 9-12 boarding school, to a care facility for the mentally ill and deficient. While this may all sound daunting, there is some silver-lining. At their last curling match, their star athlete managed to hold off the 956th ranked special Olympian, with his final toss, he managed to overcome his opponent, setting a school record for least losses in a season, making his record 1-64. He shattered the previous record by over 50 losses, which was the chess team, which went on a record-setting season in ’87, their record standing at 1-134. Choate, while not renowned for their academics or their athletics, may be the choice for your child, if you just don’t want to see him anymore.