Definitions by Fat Susie

beard shmear 

The act of eating a girl out and she queefs out vaginal discharge (possibly solidified) and you proceed to dry off her vagina with your beard.

"What's that smell?"

"Last night I beard shmeared this fat bitch and I haven't washed it yet....I can taste it.."

beard shmear by Fat Susie February 24, 2014

shit griddle 

Taking a massive fresh shit/dump on concrete or asphalt that has been sitting in the hot sun.

"Isaac thought it would be a nice day for a steamy shit griddle."

shit griddle by Fat Susie December 5, 2013