If I had tits, I'd play with them all day. I wouldn't leave the house, I wouldn't shower, I wouldn't eat (unless not eating made my tits smaller, then I'd eat a bunch of fatty foods).
Dude, it stinks in here. Open a window. There are dishes full of half eaten lasagna all over the place. Have you been outside all week? Oh, dude, don't do that! Seriously, stop that! At least wait till I leave to play with your tits. Listen, people are starting to worry about you. You really need help.