Definitions by Death of Marat

Cellphoning 

The ambiguous activity that takes place when one sees someone with their cellphone, but can't determine whether the person is texting or dialing a number.

Tim: "Hey, mom, who're you call-- text-- Uh, who're you cellphoning?
Mom: "Your mom."
Tim: "..."

Cellphoning by Death of Marat July 1, 2011

Gender-offended 

The affronted emotion one experiences when one is mistakenly labeled as someone of the opposite sex.

Bob: "Alright, guys! Let's go!"
Melissa: "Excuse me! Do I LOOK like a guy to you? No, don't answer that. I feel so gender-offended..."

Gender-offended by Death of Marat June 20, 2011

Nomenist

A person who judges someone based upon their name, regardless of other factors.

Beth: "Susie! I met this great guy! He's cute, funny, sensitive-"
Susie: "Wow, he sounds perfect! What's his name?"
Beth: "Garrett."
Susie: "Oh. Whoa, you shouldn't be around this guy, Beth: Garretts are bad news. I knew a Garrett once, and he-"
Beth: "Oh, cut it out, Susie. You're such a nomenist."

Nomenist by Death of Marat April 7, 2011