Definitions by Clayton Sullivan

Merkinstock 

Produced in Germany, this Bavarian wonder was concocted for hobbits with inclinations for podiatric balding; equipped with a cork bottom it not only keeps a hobbit's feet stylish, but protected.

It's not the size of the merkinstocks that matters, it's how you use them.
Those is some dank 'stocks.

Merkinstock by Clayton Sullivan February 15, 2004