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Definitions by Can you burn a Luigi board

Microsoft Edger

A chronically online tech nerd/gooner with a really small penis that likes to go online a lot and goon. Usually a Reddit user with a neck beard that has no life yet enjoys going online to post dumb shit or belittle others. Not all of them wear fedoras, but some do. Commonly also found on Discord
Hey, did you see the way that person on fb replied to me? It’s giving real Microsoft Edger energy……
A hairy woman who is so angry or aggressive that she screams at the top of her lungs and pounds on her big titties, creating a 4.5 on the Richter scale
Someone call 911! I’m being attacked by a wild titty ape!

The Penis Monkey

The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.
Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!