Bill Biz's definitions

University of Michigan

(1) Best school in Michigan, one of the Public Ivy Leagues, with medical, business and engineering schools in the top ten. World renowned professors and researchers.

(2) Does not seriously consider Michigan State a rival, despite MSU's sad, desperate, single-sided rivalry with UM. No, seriously.

(3) Used interchangeably with Ann Arbor.

State kids: "The University of Michigan sucks. The kids are snobs and I wouldn't want to go there anyway. In fact, I was accepted but chose not to go, this way I can party my way through college and become employed by a University of Michigan graduate; I believe this makes me the bigger person."

UM kids: "Ohio State sucks."

State kids: "Ann Arbor's a whore."

UM kids: "If Ann Arbor's a whore, why didn't you get in?"

by Bill Biz February 28, 2011