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Big Bad Mark's definitions

psychic vampire

Basically, a term by which insecure freaks describe various other people, as a way of explaining depression and anxiety caused by their own insecurities. Characteristics of people prone to identify psychic vampires are:

1. Goths and other freakish ass-clowns who dress in black and think that writing bad poetry makes them "deep".

2. Insecure manic depressives who think that they couldn't possibly be depressed because they are worthless gits, therefore it must be those pesky "psychic vampires" again.
Person 1: Hey that guy is a real psychic vampire. I always feel drained and depressed when I'm around him.
Person 2: Perhaps it's time you got a life and stopped being a self-obsessed ass-goblin.
----
Person 1: Help! The guy with me is a real psychic vampire!
Person 2: Hey, I didn't know you'd become a goth.
Person 1: Sure. Would you like to hear some bad poetry?
by Big Bad Mark January 25, 2005
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election

A kind of legitimised "pick-an-asshole" competition held in certain countries that have democratic tendencies. In this "election", a bunch of worthless bastards who wouldn't know a moral if it kicked them in the nuts and danced around them singing "I'm a moral", lie through their teeth and kiss babies in an effort to suck at the public teat for another 3-4 years. Elections are characterised by weasels sticking their faces in front of cameras on a daily basis, a media frenzy that resembles dropping a steak into a piranha tank, and chronic voter nausea as they are forced to decide yet again between a potential disaster and a proven failure. Luckily, watching elections hasn't made me bitter about them...
Person 1: Dude, did you watch the election coverage?
Person 2: No, I thought it would save time if I just sat on a stool and repeatedly hit my dick with a metal ruler.

Person A: Hey, I really think that that candidate is going to represent the people and make an important difference in how the country is run.
Person B: Nurse! Up this man's medication at once! He's delusional.

Person 3: Hey, I'm thinking of running for election.
Person 4: Fuck off and die, leech scum!
by Big Bad Mark January 31, 2005
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squirrel grip

The grip you have when you grab some guy by the testicles, hence having a "handful of nuts". Agonising for men, it is a source of endless amusement for onlookers and passers-by. Another form of this term is "going the squirrel", which means that someone is attempting to grab someone else in a squirrel grip.
Person 1: This guy picked a fight with me the other day, but I got him in the "squirrel grip" and he sure changed his tune quickly.

Person A: This guy attacked Sophie in a dark alley, so she "went the squirrel" on him and escaped. Poor bastard'll be singing high-C from now on.
by Big Bad Mark January 31, 2005
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