A 21+ good Samaritan who regularly uses the power of his/her age to obtain fun-fun juice for younger, less privileged souls.
Note: You can recognize a true Captain Alcohol when the nearest liquor store no longer asks to see identification because this person purchases alcohol so often.
Commonly shouted at 10:30pm, from the top of a 20-foot ladder, covered in paint, sawdust and holding a broken piece of molding: "Guys, have we assigned a Captain alcohol yet?"
Sexual intercourse that could result in reproduction. This is different from other sexual activities (for example: eating non-dessert items off of someone. Like a sandwich).
Never have I ever been making the babies, you know, like, 'bam the sex' with your mom"