-ESPN's college review
uva ass: well TJ and I spent our weekend at the dog show, then we went shopping for new shirts...we must keep the collars popped. Ha. Ha. I am done laughing.
normal person: wtf??
uva ass: ohh silly goose, you wouldn't understand, it is a uva thing.
As far as sports are concerned, UVA has teams that are good at what they do. They are. Yes, some years they are better and worse than "other" teams, but the fact is, most of the time all of their sports teams are formidable opponents.
The fact is, the students that do not go to UVA do so because they don't want to be surrounded by the assholes that embody UVA.
Rich bitch 1: Oh, my daddy is going to pay for me to go to UVA. I just got this Mercedes for my birthday and can't wait to drive it there.
Rich bitch 2: It's great, we never have to work while we are there. I take only 12 credits a semester and can stay for as long as I want since I have all the time in the world.
Guy: Yeah...well unlike you too, I actually have to try.
Guy: UVA sucks!
UVA student: No it certainly does not! Thomas Jefferson founded this school. Do you even know who that is? Well, I'll tell you anyway...
Guy: hold on, hold on.....I..don't .......care.
UVA student: Oh, want a Zima?
Normal College Student: Wait, why do I care about Thomas Jefferson? And oh yeah you got another shipment of "natural male enhancement" in the mail today.
Students of this false-Ivy League school enjoy the finer things in life, such as living off their parents' credit cards, driving expensive automobiles their parents bought them, going to dinner parties with strict dress codes, and wearing suits and bowties to sports that are traditionally viewed by fans wearing comfortable, utilitarian clothing such as T-shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans.
In addition, they promote Thomas Jefferson to an exalted level unseen by even avowed Libertarians, and insist on calling their rival school "Va-Tech," despite nobody else in the world, not even "Va-Tech" students, referring to the school by that name.
Asshole 2: "No, I was too busy getting wasted on three bottles of Zima at that big dinner party last night."
Asshole 1: "Ah, well we lost as usual, but all the babes were looking mighty fine in their pearls and sundresses! I impressed them with the $200 bowtie I bought last week with daddy's credit card. Oh well. At least we're still decent at all the sports that make no money for the school because the American public doesn't care about them."
Asshole 2: "Boy, I'm glad we go to UVA so we can be pompous assholes together!"